When it Comes to Ice, I Don't Fuck Around

When one attains the status in life that I've achieved, it is perfectly normal to flaunt it: I now shop exclusively at Kohl's (Ross' Dress For Less is a distant memory of a poorer time), I am a regular diner at the upscale Outback Steakhouse down the street, I drive a pre-owned model of one of Chevrolet's finer sedans, and I buy gourmet ice.

I can't believe there was a time when I would actually take water and freeze it to make ice. How barbaric!