Ah! Leah!

Yesterday the Howard Stern Show aired a repeat Leah Remini appearance from February 2003.

Howard: Don't ruin your body.
Leah: How would I ruin my body?
H: When you have your kids.
L: Oh I'll have everything that's available to me.
H: You'll do all plastic surgery?
L: Ah screw it, why not? Tighten, snip, tuck, all of it.

Leah did have a baby on June 16, 2004 but she obviously didn't get anything tightened, snipped or tucked, because that was over a year ago. And did you see "The King of Queens" this season?

Also see: Reason to Never Get Pregnant

Today in history

Nothing big happened on August 31st, unless you count Debbie Gibson being born in 1970.

Comment Spam

Apparently this site has finally been hit by comment spam. Either that or a lot of my readers just want me to know about low mortgage rates, how to make money online, and laser hair removal.

So from now on, when posting a comment, you'll have to enter a word verification.

Real tragedy

With all the tragedy caused by Hurricane Katrina, this has to be the most devastating:

President Bush Cuts Vacation Short

Nothing to see here

I have nothing to say here. The only reason for this post is to convey that I am drunk. People have been saying I haven't been drunk lately. I actually have been drunk; just too drunk to type.

Friends don't let friends drink and type.

Safe black people

Someone Googled "safe black people" and came across this post on my site.

Were they hoping to find a list of safe black people?

Today in history

1918 - Baseball great Ted Williams was born.

2123 - Baseball great Ted Williams' frozen head is attached to a robot body. He signs a three-year contract with the Florida Marlins.

80's Lyrics Quiz

80's Lyrics Quiz

I scored a 90. I was close on a lot of them and should have done better. It helps to know #83 (which I did) because it's worth 10 points.

Something about this seems racist

Prof finds way to turn dark chicken meat into white

Where will this mad scientist stop?

Warning!

If you are a wife in Chatsworth, CA, your life may be in danger.

Someone from that town came across this post by Googling "kill your wife" this afternoon.

Could you pass 8th-grade math?

Find out here.

I got two wrong. I couldn't remember how to find the length of a 3rd side of a triangle. Just like when I was in school, I guessed instead of looking it up. And just like in school, I guessed wrong.

Drunken Lego Wirthy at MTV Video Music Awards

Lil Kim and Drunken Lego Wirth



Guy from rock band Good Charlotte with Drunken Lego Wirthy



Snoop, Jay Z and Drunken Lego Wirthy



Drunken Lego Wirthy with OJ

Today in history

1958 - Michael Jackson was born.





1982 - Steve Miller's "Abracadabra" hits #1. Abra-abra-cadabra. I want to reach out and grab ya. Beautiful.

1985 - Development begins on what would eventually become Michael Jackson's new face.

Family heirloom

Tonight, while looking at a photo from my first birthday, I noticed something familiar about a glass on the table. I dug deep into the depths of a rarely-opened cupboard and found that exact glass, or one from the same set. I assume it was one of the old dishes that mom sent with me when I went off to college.

30 years ago that glass was probably used to serve milk at a child's first birthday. Tonight it is being used to serve that same child whiskey.

You really can't put a price on a piece of family history like that, but the glasses (I have 3) should fetch a buck or so on eBay.

Loser kids

Ha Ha Ha! Let's all point at these kids and laugh.

Words of wisdom from Tara Reid

"I wish all the mean people, if you want to be mean to each other, just buy a country together and blow each other up. Then we’d have no terrorists left. Like, don’t kill innocent people for no reason. It’s not fair. We love everybody. We’d even like them if they said they’re sorry. It’s not fair that innocent people are getting hurt. It makes me sad. "

Perhaps Tara should meet with the U.N. to discuss her world peace ideas.

Last night's rundown

Go to bar.

Drink.

Girlfriend shows up.

Listen to shitty band.

Leave bar.

Buy beer.

Go to friends' house.

Get drunk.

Fight with girlfriend.

Go home.

Make up with girlfriend.

Pass out.

First drink of the day

The day: Friday (work-from-Friday)
The time: 3:35pm
The situation: first drink of the day

Morning-after pill: who cares?

What the world needs is a 270-mornings-after pill.

Morning-after pill decision delayed

Father-son bonding

With Dwight Gooden's recent arrest, both he and his 19-year-old son, Dwight Jr., are both in jail. How sweet.

Anyone know what's in those neon signs?

A neon bar light just blew up in my face. What's in those things? Is it dangerous?

Ah, I'm not too worried.

Today in history

1978 - John Paul I became Pope. He died one month later. Clearly a sign that God wasn't happy with the choice.

1981 - Macaulay Culkin was born

What's the diff?

Tonight ENCORE is showing the movie "54" which is about the 1970's New York nightclub with the same name. At the same time HBO is airing "61" which portrays Rober Maris' pursuit of Babe Ruth's home run record.

You know what the difference between these two movies is?

It's 7.

Get it?

The difference between 61 and 54 is 7. Ha!

Half-Nekkid Thursday

In going with this blog's tradition, here is this week's entry.

Luckily for everyone out there, I don't have many shirtless photos of me.

A nice gift for the ladies

Make a lifesize model of your penis

I just made one of mine. Pretty impressive, huh?

Today in history

1986 - A's Mark McGwire hits his 1st major league HR. "What a day!" exclaimed McGwire. "First Jose Canseco sticks a needle in my ass and now I hit my first homer."

Four of the ugliest people celebrate their birthday today:


Rollie Fingers (1946)


Gene Simmons (1949)


Rob Halford (1951)


Blair Underwood (1964)