101 things about me

Little Bit "tagged" me last week. I'm not sure exactly what that means but I think I'm pregnant. Anyway, I guess I am supposed to do this "101 Things About Me" thing. So let's get started.

1. First of all, I'm hung like a light switch.
2. My house is connected to two other houses.
3. I'm pretty sure I graduated 11th in my class. Let me think...there were 16 of us...
4. I dislike pets and kids.
5. My car is made by the same company that made my DVD player: Daewoo
6. Mom says I'm not a loser, but I am.
7. I drink when I'm sad.
8. I love 'hair metal.'
9. If it wasn't for alcohol, I'd consume only 200 calories a day.
10. I drink when I'm happy.
11. I make very little money but am overpaid for what I do.
12. I prefer Sammy Hagar over David Lee Roth.
13. During college, I worked for a very minor league baseball team.
14. I absolutely can not stand Dave Matthews.
15. I have a private office with a sofa and a view of the mountains, but my boss sits in a cubicle.
16. I once had two $100 bills in my wallet at the same time.
17. I consider myself funnier than most people.
18. I hate when people yell at the TV while watching sports.
19. I drink when I'm thirsty.
20. My handicap parking permit was a big reason for my popularity in college.
21. I can wiggle my ears and consider it my only talent.
22. I envy Jason Bateman's hair.
23. I consider myself uglier than most people.
24. I drink when I'm not thirsty.
25. I only do one thing quickly and I'm not proud of that.
26. I love Dave Letterman, hate Jay Leno and have no feelings whatsoever about Jimmy Kimmel.
27. In 1996 I got a BA degree in Communications and still don't know what to do with it.
28. Spicy food gives me the shits.
29. My hometown's population: 310
30. I love beer, vodka and whiskey but hate tequila. I also like champagne and will drink an entire bottle in one sitting.
31. I once killed a man, just to watch him die.
32. At nearly 150lbs, I am the heaviest I've ever been.
33. I hate when people think they are more important than they really are.
34. I'm banking on a last-minute, death-bed confession to get me into heaven.
35. I've never voted for a winning president.
36. I pop antacids like they're M&Ms.
37. I would rather go to a 'dive' bar than an upscale one.
38. I love Outback Steakhouse but rarely order steak - always the Alaskan King Crab.
39. I played the drums in high school.
40. I don't know where I'm going, but I sure know where I've been.
41. I get emotional over the movie "Rudy."
42. I have very few vivid memories of childhood. (Damn alcohol-damaged brain cells!)
43. I regret quitting piano lessons. Grandma told me I would someday.
44. I always take the easy way out. Why would any choose the hard way?
45. I walk with a cane, not because I think it's fashionable, but because it keeps me from tipping over.
46. I hate when people say "unthaw."
47. My first car was a 1986 Chrysler LeBaron. It didn't last long.
48. I never plan on marrying and pray that I'm sterile.
49. I will usually answer my phone any hour of the day or night.
50. I hate when parents give kids strange names or choose unorthodox spellings of common names.
51. I don't think a lap dance should cost more than $10.
52. I can't swim but love going to the lake.
53. I don't feel sorry for poor people who have numerous kids. Who the hell told them to have kids?
54. I've always wanted a Pontiac Fiero.
55. I've only gone fishing once and am fine with that.
56. I don't like hockey or women's sports (sorry girls).
57. I hate reality shows.
58. I've seen Air Supply live in concert.
59. I hate reality.
60. I doubt I will live past 60.
61. I don't think men should ever wear tank tops or sandals unless at the beach.
62. I was once arrested for DUI but got it reduced to reckless driving and paid a $500 fine.
63. I like the sound of ice cubes clinking in a glass, especially if they're swimming in whiskey.
64. I owned Tiffany's debut album and liked it.
65. I try to hate all ethnicities equally.
66. I have two younger brothers and two younger sisters.
67. I've only smoked pot a couple times and it is the only drug I've ever tried, unless you count alcohol. That, I abuse daily.
68. I grew up on a farm but know very little about farming.
69. I hate hip hop music.
70. I have cerebral palsy and didn't start walking until I was three.
71. I love Howard Stern, but not sexually.
72. I work from home every Friday.
73. I once ran into Wayne Gretzky in a bathroom, when I was drunk.
74. I believe that Charles Barkley was an all-around better power forward than Karl Malone.
75. Favorite movie: "The Godfather"
76. I didn't start really drinking until my senior year in high school, but I haven't looked back since.
77. I design postcards for a living. Have you ever heard of anyone who does that?
78. I am at a computer over 10 hours a day.
79. I used to work "temp" jobs and was once named Temp of the Month and awarded a gift certificate to Olive Garden.
80. I hate when people use the word "we" when referring to their favorite sports team.
81. My staple karaoke songs: Billy Joel's "Piano Man" and Afroman's "Because I got high"
82. I've never ridden a bicycle. (insert sympathy here)
83. I own a guitar and, in six years, have learned four chords.
84. I was born in South Dakota but, to make a better living, my parents soon moved all the way to North Dakota.
85. I hate festivals (beer festivals, chocolate festivals, wine festivals, etc.).
86. I've had at least three surgeries on my legs.
87. Favorite band: Motley Crue
88. I'm younger than most of my friends.
89. I love TV and subscribe to nearly every movie channel available, pushing my cable bill over $100 a month.
90. I haven't read a book in years and am pretty sure I forgot how.
91. I am never without my cell phone. NEVER!
92. I laugh at people who are injured or killed while hiking. Who the hell told them to go hiking?
93. When I was younger I liked George Michael's "I want your sex." Does that make me gay?
94. I am Catholic but rarely go to church. I got burnt out on it as a kid.
95. I am 31 years old.
96. I don't like Sundays because it's hard to convince people to go out drinking. I prefer Thursdays.
97. For most of my life, I've had only one living grandparent.
98. I smoke an occasional cigar but never cigarettes.
99. I don't think anyone should ever wear cowboy hats or cowboy boots unless he is a real cowboy.
100. There's nothing I care about enough to protest over.
101. I lied about #16 and #31.

So that's that - 101 things about me.