I'm back!

This post is for those who have doubted my powers lately.

Let me set the scene for you:

I open my eyes but must quickly close them. My contacts lenses are dry like sandpaper. After many blinks, I'm able to take in my surroundings. The ceiling fan is whirring above me. A half-empty screwdriver sits on the coffee table, next to an open can of Pringles. On the TV, a "Magnum P.I." episode from 1983. A warm notebook computer sits on my lap, displaying girl-on-girl photos porn. My keyboard and shirt are covered in, you guessed it, Pringles crumbs (I bet you thought I was going to say something else.).

My mind quickly processes the clues: the 80's TV show, the familiar potato chip/whiskey/vodka/fruit juice aftertaste in my mouth.

I was middle-of-the-week-late-night-shit-faced!