Scientology to arrange Tom and Katie conception

Scientology leaders, eager to get back in the headlines, have arranged for their poster boy Tom Cruise to inseminate fiancée Katie Holmes.

Scientology, founded by science-fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard, enjoyed worldwide press this summer when Cruise began dating Holmes. Publicity soared when Holmes declared her intent to join the religion after Cruse proposed but the hype has since died down and the media is now focusing on Britney Spears and her newborn son.

“We’ve been following her pregnancy for months and knew it would be a big story” said Scientology PR Director Kelly Mattson. “We just had to figure out how we would battle back.”

Mattson said numerous publicity ideas were tossed around, including John Travolta and Kelly Preston adopting a Cambodian child, or staging the ‘accidental’ death of Jenna Elfman.

The fertilization will be part of an exclusive ceremony attended only by Scientology’s highest-ranking members known as Thetan VIIIs. Cruise, who is currently filming “Mission Impossible III,” will either attend the ceremony or send his sperm in a test tube.