Drunken bar napkin art

This is how I want to go

Beer keg explosion kills 1 at party

You have to love the "classics"

Another great night on AMC - American Movie Classics:

10:30pm - 1:00am: Murder By Numbers. Another Sandra Bullock, Ryan Gossling classic.

1:00am - 3:00am: The Skulls II. At least the first one had Coach - Craig T. Nelson.

Finally my way of life is catching on

Marriage loses its edge

Next we'll be seeing headlines like:

"Most people binge drink, alone on the couch"
"Majority of Americans have gone decades without sex"
"Magnum P.I. reruns score big in ratings"
"Average penis size just under 2 inches"

Funny Picture, Not-So-Funny Story

Click picture for story

I will die before I run out of toothpicks

In my cupboard I have a box of 1,500 toothpicks. I think I bought these a year or so ago and am sure there are at least 1,495 toothpicks remaining.

When I die in a few years or so, someone will eventually find in my house my rotted corpse, a case of unused condoms, a few dozen get-in-free cards to local gentlemen clubs, and 1,390 toothpicks.

Bye Bye Girlfriend

Girlfriend is gone for 11 days. Tomorrow morning she is leaving on a family vacation.

Since no other girl ever shows even the slightest interest in me, girlfriend really has nothing to worry about. I'll probably just spend every night drinking alone...aaaahhh, sounds good to me.