Friday, September 30, 2005

You're telling me our pop stars aren't that bright?

'Idol' Champ Fantasia Reveals She Can Hardly Read Or Write

Next we'll hear that Jessica Simpson has trouble with long division or Britney Spears can't count past 20.

Can't read? Can't write? Doesn't mean you can't put out a book.

Science put to good use

Once again the United States is slipping further and further ('farther and farther?' I don't know) behind other countries in science and technology. While we're concerned with sending men to the moon again, look what Germany is doing: Beer mat knows when it is refill time

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Screw you McDonalds!

I am no longer a slave to you McD's! No more am I allowed only to enjoy your tasty McMuffins between 6:00am - 10:00am. I can now make my own whenever I want!

I am the proud new owner of an Egg & Muffin Toaster from the good folks at Back to Basics.

It resides nicely next to my pizza oven and George Foreman Grill.

Just like McDonalds except I am eating it at 7:00pm and my orange juice has vodka in it.

Hungover HNT

I completely forgot about HNT when I was throwing back beers at 1:30am. So a good hungover shot always works, in a pinch. Damn, I'm lookin' good!

Guidelines for "Half-Nekkid Thursday"

It's looking like work-from-home-Thursday

After a few drinks at the local bar, followed by a few more drinks, I returned home to fall asleep for a little while. Refreshed by my little nap, I grabbed another beer and finished off some leftover macaroni salad which may or may not still have been edible. Guess I'll find out later.

I really have nothing to say here. I just entered this post to prove that I still get drunk.

By the way, I still haven't been able to find one of the egg & muffin toasters in town. My search continues tomorrow.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

More musician biographies please

Last year we saw the Ray Charles movie. This year we'll get the Johnny Cash movie.

What's next?

It might be good to be disabled

First we get the best parking spots and now this!

Danish provide prostitutes for the disabled

Today in history

48 BC - Pompey the Great is assassinated on orders of King Ptolemy of Egypt after landing in Egypt

1066 - William the Conqueror invades England

1708 - Peter the Great defeats the Swedes at the Battle of Lesnaya

The 'Conqueror'? The 'Great'? These guys sure thought highly of themselves.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Thinking of having a Vegas wedding? You may want to try Colombia

Colombia to offer one-hour divorces

Oh, what will I do?

My girlfriend just left for an 11-day family vacation. I guess I'll just have to find some way to get by.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Wait a minute. Derek Jeter's not white?

Jeter Receives Racist Hate Mail for dating a white woman

My breakfast problems are solved

I will no longer be forced to conform to McDonald's concept of when breakfast should be. Who the hell is up by 10:00am on the weekends?

Egg & Muffin Toaster Thanks to Rebecca Marie

I'm off to Wal-mart today.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Sign of a good night

You know how you tell that you had a good night? You have to be carried out of the bar.

I think that somebody may have put something in my drinks. But then I guess it could just have been all the vodka.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Breakfast update

Well, it's 10:45am. McDonalds is through serving breakfast and I don't have an Egg McMuffin.

Friday, September 23, 2005

It's 11 o'clock on a Friday

I don't have anything to say here. But I wanted to make an entry just so I could convey my current state of drunkenness.

My girlfriend just volunteered to get McDonalds breakfast tomorrow morning. Often on the weekends one of us says we will get up in time to get McD's breakfast but it rarely actually happens. So, we'll see.

Let the drinking begin!

Actually it already has. I got a half hour left of work but it is work-from-home-Friday and I can sign on to my instant messenger on my cell phone so there really is no way for the boss to know where I'm at.

With that, I'm off to the bar. Looking forward to moving that drunk meter up a few notches tonight.

Putting ads on this site was a good idea

Forbes released its list of wealthiest Americans and I made it.

Click on image to enlarge

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Come Kate, come with us, everything will be fine

Scientology reaches out to Kate Moss

It's jetBlue. What do you expect?

If you want to fly across the country for $50, you're going to have to sacrifice some things. Good landing gear is very expensive.

JetBlue plane lands safely on crippled nose gear

Today in history

1960 - Scott Baio was born.

During my extensive research on Chachi I came across a 1982 movie called "Zapped!" I had never even heard of it until now.

"A young high school student develops telekinetic powers and uses them for nothing more than ripping girls' clothes off."

How did I let that one slip by me? Someone will be hitting Blockbuster this weekend.


Guidelines for "Half-Nekkid Thursday"

What is this goddamn thing on my arm? I've tried to scrub it off for years.

I might be 1/2% black and this is where it showed up.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Amber Frey was...

Wrong about who was the father of her child.

The mistress of a man who murdered his wife and unborn baby.

Wrong man pays child support to Peterson mistress

I'm happy my name didn't come up

Enter failure into and click I'm Feeling Lucky or Google Search and look at the first result.

Do I get the Amsterdam Channel?

Dutch Talk-Show Host to Take Heroin on Air

A couple of things hit me about this article:

1. Amsterdam has some cool television
2. 'The Shoot Up and Swallow Show' is the best name ever for a TV show

They've also aired a program called 'This Is How You Screw' that showed how to have sex in a nightclub and featured mannequins with sex organs.

And tonight we Americans get to watch 'So You Think You Can Dance.'

"Hello, cable company. I'd like to order the Amsterdam Channel."

Wolf Blitzer stops broadcasting as werewolf

CNN journalist Wolf Blitzer announced yesterday that he would no longer transform into a werewolf for his broadcasts.

“To be fair the my colleagues in the news business, today will be the last time I broadcast as a werewolf,” Blitzer said on Tuesday’s “The Situation Room,” the CNN newscast that he hosts.

Rival reporters have often complained that Blitzer’s wolf powers gave him an unfair advantage when reporting the news. During the Gulf War, Blitzer devoured an ABC news crew to be first on the scene following a ground attack. He coverage in Kuwait earned him a CableAce award.

Blitzer also said he will change the name of his Sunday talk show to “Late Edition with Steve Blitzer” and that he will no longer eat live rabbits in the CNN lunchroom.

Today in history

1971 - Carlton from "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" was born.

1988 - Mike Tyson threatens a TV reporter and smashes camera. This event actually occurs most days in history.

1989 - The Bangles broke up. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Here comes another Hollywood divorce

Rebecca Romijn Engaged to Jerry O'Connell

"We couldn't be happier and are looking forward to the next chapter of our lives."

Remind me to check back on the happy couple in about a year.

No-booze Monday

After saturating most of my essential organs with alcohol over the weekend, I took yesterday off from drinking - the whole day! That's a rare occurrence in my life.

Today in history

1967 - Gunnar Nelson and Matthew Nelson of, well, 'Nelson' were born.

1973 - Singer Jim Croce died when his plane crashed into a tree while taking off.