Wednesday, June 29, 2005

It's the NBA on NBC!

I miss this theme song.

More 80's sports theme songs can be found here.

Other cool stuff found at

  • NBC Thursday (1982, video) It's the series premiere of 'Cheers,' along with 'Taxi,' 'Fame,' and 'Hill Street Blues.'

Neverland Ranch Map

Check out the map of Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch on this page.

If I was a nine year old boy, I'd grab Michael and head to Lounge/Club KISS (#21 on map) for some Jesus juice, before relaxing with the King of Pop at the Massage Therapy Center (#47).

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

I prefer advice from the "Family Ties" kids

Want Mike Seaver from "Growing Pains" to tell you you're going to hell? Click here

I thought MTV was a gay channel

MTV launches new gay cable TV channel

White guy goes #1 in NBA Draft

The Milwaukee Bucks took Andrew Bogut with the first pick in this year's NBA Draft. He's the first white guy to go #1 since 1977 when the Bucks drafted some guy named Kent Benson.

Just three years earlier another white guy, Bill Walton, was drafted #1.

If Bogut follows in his predecessors' footsteps, he'll either have a disappointing NBA career and fade into obscurity, or have an average NBA career and go onto become an annoying sports broadcaster.

What you need, when you need it

For some reason, I found myself thinking about Kobe Bryant's rape case this afternoon.

I knew that his accuser's identity had become publicly known so I started looking around. Apparently her name is Kate Faber.

She clearly doesn't own the site but I thought the slogan under the web site name was rather humorous.

Rich guy dies

Wal-Mart Heir John Walton Dies in Crash

If I had billions of dollars, I wouldn't be flying homemade experimental aircrafts. I wouldn't do anything dangerous. I'd take every precaution to safeguard my extremely fortunate life.

Monday, June 27, 2005

First Tigger, now Piglet!

Eeyore must be shitting his pants right about now.

Voices behind Tigger, Piglet die

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Time - it's a son of a bitch

After watching this hilarious video a dozen times, I did a little research on Loverboy.

Loverboy then

Loverboy now

One of these is not an original Loverboy because in 2000 their bass player, Scott Smith, fell off his boat and drowned.

Friday, June 24, 2005

People who died this week

Lane Smith
Who the hell is Lane Smith? Well, he was in the Pauly Shore movie "Son In Law." He was also in "Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman" and "My Cousin Vinny."

Karl Mueller
Who the hell is he? He was the bass player for the band Soul Asylum. Remember, they had that song "Runaway Train?"

Work-from-recliner-Friday returns!

In case any of you were worried after last week's post about the end of Work-from-recliner-Fridays, you can breathe a sigh of relief.

The coworker who took the laptop got fired, so I'm working in comfort today.

Low pay? What low pay?

Teachers paid an average salary of $46,752, survey finds

That is about $4,000 more than I make and I'm working right now (granted, from home - but still working), while my teacher friends are on summer vacation.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

The Robert Horry Movie

Robert Horry is, by no means, the biggest NBA star.

If someone was going to make a movie about a basketball player, there would be lots of better choices: Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, etc.

However, the Robert Horry movie must be made! God didn't create Will Smith in Robert Horry's likeness for no reason.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Signs that I had a good weekend

Saturday morning I woke up wearing Friday's clothes.

There are multiple charges on my credit card, although I don't recall using it.

Most of Sunday, my arm was covered in blood, and I didn't care.

Despite brushing my teeth many times, the taste of cigars and alcohol still lingers.

Yesterday I drank at seven different bars, and the first and last one are over 200 miles apart.

Speaking of weekends, check this out.

Friday, June 17, 2005


Work-From-Home-Friday isn't as great as it used to be.

I am, once again, confined to the computer in my bedroom, because my boss needed his laptop back at the office.

So today there will be no working from the patio or working from the recliner.

I guess I'll be laptop shopping soon.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Why won't Jesus visit my bathroom?

Jesus Christ Image Icon Materializes in Plaster Wall

All the good band names are taken

Why did anyone name their band Rolling Stones, Aerosmith, Guns 'N Roses, Eagles or anything else, when this name was still available at the time.

Last night's karaoke set list

"It's My Life" - Bon Jovi
"Round and Round" - RATT

Intermission (beer, beer, vodka-Red Bull, beer, vodka-Red Bull)

"The Unknown Stuntman (theme to 'Fall Guy') - Lee Majors
"Because I Got High" - Afroman


"Piano Man" - Billy Joel

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Clearly, she's no Mother Of The Year

Mother Explains Fatal Pit Bull Mauling

My favorite quotes in the article are:

"It's Nicky's time to go." and "When you're born you're destined to go and this was his time."

It is with a heavy (and drunken) heart...

...that I watch my first episode of "MacGyver" after learning of Dana Elcar's (MacGyver's Pete Thornton) death.

This specific episode, "A Prisoner of Conscience," featured Tim Rossovich as "Political Prisoner." He, at some time, played for the Philadelphia Eagles, San Diego Chargers and Houston Oilers. In his stellar acting career, he appeared on "MacGyver" three times.

NFL Hall of Fame member Dick Butkus was also in three "MacGyver" episodes.

Obviously the fine acting was the reason behind this show's success.

Another thing I realized, while getting drunk alone, is that I enjoy $8 champagne as much as I do $4 champagne.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Goodbye, Pete

'MacGyver' actor dies at 77

Drunken thoughts on the MTV Movie Awards

(Thursday night)

First drunken thought: I can't believe I am really watching the MTV Movie Awards.

Nicole Richie and Fat Joe are conducting the red carpet interviews. I can't understand a single word Fat Joe says. They should have subtitles, so people from the Midwest can follow along.

What's with Jessica Simpson 's black eyes? Hopefully they're from a Nick Lachey beating.

Best On-Screen Team: "Mean Girls'" Lindsay Lohan and three girls nobody has ever heard of.

Commercial break - Spurs up by 11 over the Pistons.

Eminem is performing a song about his daughter, while video of her plays behind him. I liked it a lot more when he rapped about killing her mother. It appears he needs to pee, because he keeps grabbing himself.

Spurs won.

The award for Best Breakthrough Male Performance went to the kid from "Napoleon Dynamite." Hey, he looks like Beck! Why do I think we'll never see this guy again, except for maybe in Napoleon Dynamite II?

Dustin Hoffman just won Best Comedic Performance for his role in "Meet The Fockers." He has to be the oldest person in the building. He's grabbing his crotch and running around the stage. How sad. I wonder where this award will be 24 hours from now. Proudly displayed next to his Oscars, or in a dumpster outside the MTV Movie Awards?

Mariah Carey is performing her new song and it is supposedly #1 in the country. What the hell - is it 1991 again?

Best Frightened Performance goes to Dakota Fanning for "Hide and Seek." She also won for Worst Teeth for a Six Year Old.

Hugest Boobs from an Audience Member went to Jennifer Tilly. I presented this award myself; it was not an official MTV award.

Ok, here is the "Breakfast Club" reunion. I heard about this a little while ago. The only ones who showed were Ally Sheedy, Anthony Michael Hall, Molly Ringwald and the guy who played the teacher. Hmm...maybe Molly Ringwald is the oldest person here, not Dustin Hoffman. Ally Sheedy looks pretty hot. She didn't talk at all - instead just stood in the back, waving her arms in the air like a maniac. Judd Nelson was at the show but didn't join the cast on stage. Maybe he'll show up for the "Suddenly Susan" reunion in a few years.

How come host Jimmy Fallon never tucks his shirt in?

Katie Holmes presented the first ever MTV Generation award to Tom Cruise. They show a montage of his movies: explosion...race car...You complete me (What ever happened to that kid from "Jerry Maguire?")...explosion...I want the truth...I feel the need, the need for speed...explosion...shoot chase...flying jet...Show me the money...explosion...Kmart in chase...explosion...

Hey, Katie Holmes brought her dad out. Oh wait, that's Tom Cruise.

Just to ensure that the MTV Movie Awards has absolutely no credibility, Hillary Swank got beat by Lindsay Lohan for Best Female Performance. So Hillary managed to win the Oscar for Best Actress but couldn't score an MTV Award. In her acceptance speech, Lindsay thanks her family and specifically mentions her mom but not her dad. Wonder why.

Do these MTV kids know that the Foo Fighters are 50 years old?

Tom Cruise carries out Dakota Fanning to present the Best Movie award. They'll be dating in ten years.

And the winner is...suspense building...Dakota opens the envelope but isn't old enough to read.

The best movie is "Napoleon Dynamite." A bunch of guys who look like they've never been laid come up to accept.

I'm going to bed and will try to forget that I just wasted three hours of my life.

(All pictures were taken from, without permission.)

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

I guess I could make an exception

I've always said that I do not want kids, but maybe in this case I could make an exception.

Jen, give me a call!

Does Jennifer Aniston want a revenge baby?

Monday, June 06, 2005

Vacation over

My vacation was over last week, but I haven't posted anything lately. I had to spend the last few days waning myself off the 25 drinks/day I had become accustomed to and getting back to a more comfortable 14 drinks/day.

I only have a few photos: one of the houseboat, one of me hungover and one of me without a shirt (nobody really needed to see that).