Monday, August 30, 2004

Gloria snubbed

Last night I watched the MTV Video Music Awards. Toward the end of the show, R&B "diva" Alicia Keys eulogized Ray Charles who died in June. Very touching, but what about Laura Branigan? The Grammy-nominated pop singer best known for her 1982 hit "Gloria" died last week.

MTV continues to snub Laura Branigan, just as it has for the past 15 years.

Saturday, August 28, 2004

And the Oscar goes to...Vin Diesel

What a goddamn boring day! I get up early and sit at home working my ass off all day for work-from-home-Friday. After work, nobody wants to fucking go out. I hear from no one.

Finally at 8:00 pm, I decide my alcohol supply is a little under what I feel is a comfortable amount, so off I go to Osco. Once I get there, I realize I left my wallet at home. Son of a bitch!!! Now I have to drive home, get my wallet and head back to Osco. Luckily for me, I have all the f'ing time in the world. Hey get this: because I bought way more liquor than one person really needs, they gave me a free bottle of rum...nice!

By the way, when I left for Osco the first time, I was watching "A Man Apart" starring Vin Diesel. Holy shit was that a crappy movie! A Mexican drug cartel had killed DEA agent Vin Diesel's wife. After I finally got home, guess what...Vin Diesel single-handedly avenged his wife's death and brought down the entire cartel. I never saw that coming! How was this movie passed over by the Oscars?

So I spent most of the night drinking whiskey and watching some movie starring Val Kilmer as a porn star/murderer. It was either based on the real life of some 70's porn star or the real life of Val Kilmer...I'm can't remember.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Am I a social drinker?

I find myself in a strange, unfamiliar situation. It's nearly midnight, I just got home, but I'm not drunk.

After work, I met John Erickson at a bar where I had a few beers, not a lot - 3 I think. Afterwards I went to Erickson's house where I drank a handful of beers over quite a few hours. I guess you could almost call it social drinking.

On the way home, I stopped by Chuy's but after finding no one I knew, I left without having a single drink.

So now I'm at home. I did not sleep in my car. I've already changed clothes. I didn't fall down. I am not lying on my living room floor or passed out in a recliner. It's a very wierd feeling. If you haven't tried social drinking, I recommend it - once in a while.

I gotta go now. I hear my whiskey calling for me from the kitchen.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

California Extra Dry

What a goddamn shitty day. All day long at work: "My e-mail isn't working!" "I can't get online!" "Why doesn't why printer work?" It's like working in an office with Colonel and Mel Dosmann.

Since I got nothing done at the office, I got to come home and work a few hours more. On the positive side, I can drink while working at home.

I've just polished off a bottle of $5 ($3.95) champagne. Normally champagne is a weekend thing but what the hell, I'm in that "weekend" type of mood. Since I didn't want to commit to an entire can of 7Up, I am now drinking Miller Lites instead of hitting Seagrams 7 and 7Up.

Hell, that's enough for tonight.

Monday, August 23, 2004

Off the wagon...or is it on the wagon?

"Off" the wagon or "on" the wagon: which one means your drunk? After going all day yesterday without drinking, I got thirsty again. I watched the Ashton Kutcher movie, "The Butterfly Effect." You try to watch an Ashton Kutcher movie sober.

However, I am true to my earlier promise of becoming more mature. I was responsible enough to change into pajamas (Adidas shorts and Christie's Cabaret t-shirt) hours ago so that I wouldn't pass out in my clothes. That's something that I wouldn't have done when I was in my 20's.

Sunday, August 22, 2004


I was more hungover this morning than I usually am. Normally after coming off a hard night of drinking, I sleep until 10:00 a.m. and I'm fine. This morning, I woke up at 11:00 a.m., lying on my bed, in my clothes and feeling like shit.

My first thought was that I am now 30, no longer in my 20's, and that I will no longer be able to bounce back after drinking. But then reality set in: I'm only one day older than I was yesterday. The obvious reason for my unusual hangover had to be the three shots (three that I remember), numerous Red Bull vodkas and countless beers.

Anyway, by 2:00 p.m. I was fine and ready to drink again. But I didn't. Deb Mikkelsen told me last night, that now that I am 30, I need to behave more maturely. So I went all day without drinking. This should last a while.

Thanks everyone for the surprise party last night. I still need to go to Christies though.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

T'was the night before work-from-home-Friday

There are few times in my life that I am happier than work-from-home-Friday-eve. I am getting stinking drunk on screwdrivers knowing that I just need to wake up at 6:59 tomorrow morning, roll off my bed, crawl to my desk, turn on the computer and be at work on time.

Sometime around 9:30 - 10:00 a.m., I'll set my instant messenger status to "away" and grab a quick shower.

As for tonight, I'll keep pouring the screwdrivers until I run out of ice. I'm not like all my rich friends with their fancy automatic icemakers. I have to fill up my two ice trays and wait for the water to turn to ice. Unfortunately, my current ice consumption rate is greater than my ice production rate so I will soon run out. If this happens before I pass out, I will just switch to beer.

16,000 hits! just passed 16,000 hits!

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Orange you drunk

I just awoke with a wet stain on my shirt and shorts, sitting in one of two recliners that makes up my entire living room furnishings. Further investigation proved the source of the wetness to be the 1/4 empty screwdriver resting in my left hand and not urine which was originally assumed.

By the way, the previous sentence was rather well-constructed given that I am "sofa king" drunk.

Anyway, I smell like oranges and am about to pass out.

Monday, August 16, 2004

Tonight's menu

Last night's drinking menu mainly consisted of Seagrams 7/7 Ups and a few beers.

Tonight I'm having screwdrivers because I want to get some vitamins and also because I have two cartons of orange juice I need to finish.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

time to dance

Hey, it's me again. Nice.

I'm drunk again but it's not my fault. I would have gone to bed hours ago but "Footloose" was on. That boy, Ren, he just wanted to dance. Why couldn't they just let him dance? Why? Dammit? why ?!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Up the ass

I don't know if you've noticed but lately there's been updates up the ass to You got the Wirthyology thing, my senior pictures, articles about this, articles about that, yada yada this, yada yada that. Plus I'm updating this weblog pretty often.

So yeaaaayyyyyy for me!!!! What an f'ing accomplishment!

The Lakers traded Rick Fox to the Celtics.

It's 1:30 in the morning. I'm drunk. I'm typing at a rate of about 10 keys per minute.

By the way, I got some very disturbing news tonight. I can not go into detail now but I am very disappointed by the behavior and actions of some people close to me.

Hey, get this: The obituary posted on my site caused a bunch of people to think that I really died. I heard that some people were really concerned and one person even called a relative of mine. It's good to know that when I really go, about 4 people will care.

My neck itches.

Friday, August 06, 2004

Hard to believe

Hard to believe: after saying that I wouldn't get drunk at the Van Halen show, guess what happen...I got drunk. Ohlhauser is a bad influence.

I was more sober than most nights however. Usually I wake up around 3:00am in the livingroom, sitting in my recliner with the TV on and a half-full beer in my hand. This morning I woke up at around 2:00am, in my bed, with the TV on and a container of Pringles in my hand.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Concerts with Mark Ohlhauser

In a few hours, I'll be at the Van Halen concert with Mark Ohlhauser and John Erickson. It's been a while since I've gone to a show with Ohlhauser. We'll see if, after the concert, his memory is any better than it was last time.

Read this:

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

The history of

A look back at the history of is now available:

I am sure this will interest hardly any of you.

Monday, August 02, 2004

The true life of a teacher

Very soon we will all learn the true life of a teacher...maybe. I'm considering allowing someone else to contribute to for the first time: my brother Jamie. Compared to me, he doesn't know as much about web sites and probably isn't as funny but he walks a lot faster and will soon begin his teaching/coaching career.

He will be able to provide all of us with the true details of the part-time work life of a teacher. If I get ambitious enough, I'll set him up with a web log to chronicle his day to day activities. It could be could suck. Hell, maybe I won't even do it. We'll see.

New mouse

I had to go to Best Buy today and get a new mouse for my computer. My old one is full of some sort of goo.

Ha Ha! Funny Story!

Cruelty charge filed after dog is dragged

David J. CieslakThe Arizona RepublicAug. 2, 2004 12:00 AM

Police arrested a man on suspicion of animal cruelty Sunday after he and his wife found their runaway dog in a west Phoenix neighborhood, then tied the animal by its neck to the back of a pickup truck and dragged it nearly a mile.

Herminio Velasquez, 32, told officers he tied the 2-year-old female chow to the truck because he didn't want to place the dog inside the pickup and risk getting his clothes dirty before attending church, investigators said. Witnesses called 911 about 4:30 p.m. after spotting the dog trying to keep up with the truck near Glendale and 43rd avenues, Phoenix police Sgt. Jantra Palmer said.Velasquez told investigators that he believed the dog was running behind the pickup while his wife drove about 10 mph. At one point, Velasquez could not see the chow at the end of the rope and realized it was being dragged, prompting him to get out of the truck and walk the dog home, Palmer said.

A trail of blood spanning about 500 yards was spotted along the path where the animal was dragged, she said.The chow's pads were ripped from its paws and most of the dog's nails were shattered, Arizona Humane Society spokeswoman Kim Noetzel said.

Veterinarians were treating the dog late Sunday, and Noetzel said she believed it would survive.The Humane Society will take custody of the dog pending a disposition of the case in court, Noetzel said.

Velasquez was booked into a Maricopa County jail on one count of felony animal cruelty. Authorities also planned to arrest his wife, who went to church with the couple's children and remained there Sunday evening, Palmer said.