An experiment in drunkenness

Approximately one year ago, I came up with an ingenious idea. Whenever I drink a Miller Lite at my favorite bar, I would carefully remove the label from the bottle, roll it into a cone and put it in a shot glass that would be kept behind the bar for me.

Since last November nearly every Miller Lite I drank meant another label in the glass. At one point, I began letting a couple friends contribute to make up for the times I drank mixed drinks or was too drunk to peel the labels.

Oh, did I have fun: drink a beer, roll a label, drink another beer, roll another label...for an entire year. But as with all good things, it had to end. Collecting beer labels just wasn't as cool as it was back in June 2006.

So last night we dumped out the labels and tallied them up. I was hoping for some lofty number like 1,400. But just like in every other aspect of my life, I was disappointed. There was only 740.
Let the excuses begin: I drank a lot of mixed drinks; For a month or so, Miller Lite went to a football themed label that couldn't be removed; My liver started to hurt in September.

I will just have to be content with 740. It's not too bad, I guess.

In the end, what did I get for my efforts?

I received no acknowledgement or prizes. No accolades from Miller Lite. No praise from my family or friends.

Nope. After it all, I was left with just the personal satisfaction that, for over a year, I was thoroughly entertained by the stupidest goddamn thing.