Why is it that I feel like I can make fun of the handicapped? Because I am one of them.
Just like Jewish people can make Jewish jokes and black people can safely use the 'n word', I can say whatever I want about crippleds -- as long as they are white Christians.
All my life, I have had Cerebral Palsy. From what I was told, during birth I became entangled in the umbilical cord and lost oxygen for a while. To this day, I hate umbilical cords and avoid them at all costs.
So for the first few years of my life I didn't move much. Wherever my parents put me, I stayed until they put me somewhere else. I finally learned how to walk in some form, at age 3: step-step-step-fall-step-step-step-fall. It's a method I perfected and continued throughout my life. And to make matters worse, I grew up in North Dakota where a patch of ice appears every few feet.
Being crippled isn't all that bad. When I went to college, I realized I was kind of like a superhero. My power: a handicapped parking pass. You would be amazed at how popular you are when it's -15 outside and you can park 10 feet from any door. Years later I would learn that I possessed several other powers like having the ability to get really good seats at concerts and being able to bypass long lines at airport security.
Now that I'm older, the physical difference between me and my friends isn't as noticeable. In high school, all my friends played basketball and baseball which, of course, I couldn't do. But now none of my friends do those things. They mainly sit on bar stools, downing beer after beer -- something I am quite good at.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
I make fun of crippled people
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5 COMMENTS:
Cheers to you for overcoming your disability.
dude, we need to take you to amusement parks!
one person in a chair gets the whole group to the front of the line. hell, i'll push if that's the trade off
kool thats somthin we got in common... i think, i think im kinda krippled but lol it aint that bad, im just deaf in one ear but i dont think its as bad as what other people have to go through at all.
My son is autistic and I hope he has a sense of humor about it when he gets older (damn umbilical cord got him too - long story). But he probably won't have a sense of humor about it, because autistic people have a sucky sense of humor. Oh well. It won't be for lack of my trying to instill one in him!
Bunny,
Sorry to hear of your son's condition. That damn umbilical cord gets the best of us.
After a few surgeries, numerous braces and endless rehab, in high school I finally stumbled upon the most effective remedy for my disability: alcohol.
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