My Memory of Michael Jackson

As the world mourns the loss of Michael Jackson, I would like to take a few moments to share my fondest memory of the King of Pop.

When I was a young drunken cripple, I got a "Thriller" cassette. Then I went on to never buy another piece of Michael Jackson music ever again.

Chick Flick Sunday

I haven't had a good chick flick day since July 5, 2005 when I watched the epic drama "The Notebook." So, girlfriend and I were driving aimlessly around town and decided to take in "The Proposal."

I'll admit, this one was not too bad. It's a romantic comedy about Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds pretending to be engaged but they can only communicate through a magic mailbox at a lake house.

It also stars Betty White who reprises her role as Ancient White-haired Lady, a character she made famous decades ago in the hit sitcom, "The Golden Girls."

Big Movie Saturday

Yesterday was a big movie day for girlfriend and me. We took in a matinee showing of the hilarious "The Hangover" and then were going to rent the critically acclaimed Clint Eastwood movie, "Gran Torino." Roger Ebert says this film is "about the belated flowering of a man's better nature. And it's about Americans of different races growing more open to one another in the new century." Unfortunately, it was all rented out so we had to settle for "Paul Blart Mall Cop." It's about Paul Blart, a mall cop.

An Age-Old Question

If a team wins a championship in a sport no one cares about, did they really win?

Movies I Refuse to See, Based Only on Their Titles

"The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants"
"Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood"
"Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever"
"To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar"
"How Stella Got Her Groove Back"
"27 Dresses"

And the one that I should have known enough to avoid: "I Heart Huckabees." That was 106 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

Where the hell is Dyan Cannon?

While flipping through the channels tonight, I came across "Caddyshack II" on the World's Shittiest Movie Channel. I watched 30 seconds of it and then switched to an episode of "Quantum Leap." But before embarking on another time-traveling adventure with Sam Beckett and his hologram buddy, Al, I caught a glimpse of one of "Caddyshack II's" stars, Dyan Cannon. And I got to thinking: Where the hell is Dyan Cannon?

I've watched nearly every LA Lakers playoff game this season and, as much as I can remember, I haven't seen Dyan once. She's normally seated along the baseline, just around the corner from Jack Nicholson. Jack's been there, as has Denzel and Marky Mark; but no Dyan.

Maybe those royalties from "Caddyshack" and that one episode of "The Practice" in 1998 finally dried up and Lakers tickets are no longer in the budget.

Groom Spared a Lifetime of Hell For Just Four Years In Prison

Alabama man jailed in scuba honeymoon death

This guy was facing a lifetime of marital hell but now he'll be a free man in just over four years.

My New Ride

I'll admit it: I am stuck in the 80s. A room in my house is dedicated to the decade, complete with an 80s arcade game, Atari 2600, original Nintendo Gameboy, and 76ers-era Charles Barkley jersey. My DVR is full of "MacGyver," "Magnum P.I.," and "Quantum Leap" episodes. My iPod exclusively plays hair metal bands such as Motley Crue, RATT and Winger.

Now I have an 80s car: a 1986 Pontiac Fiero. It takes me a few minutes to get my crippled ass in and out of it, but that's a small price to pay for cruising around in 80s style.

The Fall of Woody

Today, while killing some time between the start of work and the end of work, I stumbled upon a fascinating article about Lindsay Lohan being ordered to gain weight for her next film role. What fascinated me about the article had nothing to do with Lindsay's weight; it was the sad truth that this upcoming movie, "The Other Side," also stars Woody Harrelson.

Not so long ago, Woody was in winning Emmys in one of the all-time best sitcoms, "Cheers"; he was in "Indecent Proposal" with Robert Redford; he starred in box office hits "White Men Can't Jump" and "Kingpin"; and he earned a Best Actor Academy Award nomination for "The People vs. Larry Flynt." Now he's making a movie that stars not only Lohan but also boasts Kieran Culkin (Macaulay's brother), Alanis Morissette and Dave Matthews in the cast.

Poor Woody, where did it all go wrong? Probably sometime around 1999's "Edtv." Regardless, I am sure I share the hope of a country that Woody will soon reclaim his spot at the top of the entertainment world. And I know exactly how he can do it: "The Cowboy Way 2."