Strippers and vomit

Tonight I was outsmarted by a very crafty stripper. It turns out that all she wanted was my money. What a shock.

Later tonight a friend got sick from drinking and threw up. Do you know that the last time I've thrown up from alcohol was 1996? And the last time I've thrown up ever was in January 1998. How many of you can say that? What a goddamn accomplishment! How many of you can say you even bother to think of the last time you threw up? Hell, it's 3:00am and I'm drunk - you'd be surprised at the shit you think of.