Self-destruction Saturday

The Saturday before Labor Day for me is known as Self-destruction Saturday (SDS). Yesterday was the first annual SDS. Activities on this day include starting to drink 11:00 a.m. and continuing to the entire day...all by myself.

During SDS I do not go anywhere, I do not leave my property. I spend the entire day in an intoxicated haze.

Making numerous drunk phone calls is encouraged and I did so throughout the afternoon and evening.

Other activities that took place on SDS included killing ants with insect spray, trying to master the Kiss ballad "Beth" on piano and deciding if I should eat a ham sandwich that I just dropped on the ground.

Once the sun went down, I celebrated that I was still conscious by opening a bottle of champagne. Later in the night I even got some SDS visitors when Colonel and Geri showed up.

Sometime after 1:00 a.m. I passed out on my recliner. At 1:57 a.m. I managed to lift myself off the chair, make my way through the living room - past a bent oscillating fan that I had a run in with earlier in the day, and drop myself onto my bed. By the way, I have slept in my clothes the past two nights.

So the first annual SDS is in the past and I must wait another year for it to come around again. Luckly I have SDM (Self-destruction Monday) coming up tomorrow.