Drunken Grammy thoughts

Sitting outside, drinking, flipping through channels and found The Grammys. Figured it's been a while since I've done any drunken thoughts about a stupid awards show. So, here we go...

Does it suck being the drummer for U2. Nobody knows his name or what he looks like. He probably tells women in bars that he is the drummer for U2 and they never believe him.

Kanye West wins best rap album. Wonder why he's wearing black gloves. He probably just committed a crime.

Gwen Stefani is fat. Girlfriend just told me she is pregnant but that's still no excuse.

U2 just won best rock album. That drummer guy should wear the Grammy around his neck tonight.

Mariah Carey's hips are wider than my car.

The fact that Kelly Clarkson is now a multiple Grammy winner really cheapens the value of a Grammy. She just rattled off 2,300 words in 30 seconds without taking a breath. Someone should lay off the crack.

It's now 9:00pm and it's getting cold outside but Girlfriend is playing Sonic the Hedgehog on my big screen so I guess I'll stick it out.

That Fantasia is one scary-looking chick!

Steven Tyler and Joe Perry are performing. They never bring the other Aerosmith guys out with them. Wonder where they are. Probably hanging out with U2's bass player and drummer.

I'm bored with the Grammys. Going to play Sega.