Drunken Thoughts on 'Death Sentence'

Last night I watched "Death Sentence." It's a movie about a successful executive, Kevin Bacon, who is married to John Travolta's wife, Kelly Preston, and has two sons. Brendan, the oldest son, is a good looking, popular high school athlete. The younger son, Lucas, is none of those things so, rightfully, is not cared about.

Kevin Bacon and his beloved son, Brendan Bacon, are driving home from a hockey game, discussing Brendan's college options when the car's low gas alert begins to chirp. Apparently when this car says it is low on fuel, it is REALLY low because Kevin Bacon has to immediately pull into the first gas station he sees -- in a very questionable part of town. I usually drive for a couple days on empty.

While Kevin is pumping gas, Brendan goes inside to get himself a slurpy. Meanwhile in the underworld: A ruthless gang enters this same service station so one of its pledges can perform a required initiation murder and gain membership. Since there wasn't a whole lot of potential victims to choose from, Brendan becomes the unlucky target and is killed.

After burying his son, Kevin Bacon has two choices: to let the legal system punish the killer, or take matters into his own hands. Since he is simply a risk assessment manager and far from a tough guy, one would think the choice would be obvious. One would be wrong.

So, armed with garden tools and a brief case that he can swing like a son-of-a-bitch, Kevin sets off to avenge his son's death.

Watching this movie at midnight, I was very entertained, but also drunk. Looking back at it this morning, it was really quite stupid. How did Kevin Bacon so quickly transform from mild-mannered suburbanite to Rambo? There's a scene where he buys an arsenal of guns but has to read the instructions to learn how to use them. Moments later, he's mowing down bad guys like he was the star of "Die Hard" -- not "She's Having A Baby." If he would have mustered up half this determination in "Footloose," he would have had no problems throwing a school dance.

And what kind of gang is this? They get their asses kicked by a "suit." And another thing: they are all white, tattooed skin heads, except for one black guy. How comfortable can he feel in that environment?

This movie was one Kelly Preston nude scene away from being mediocre.