I, Wirthy, am of sound mind, and I voluntarily declare that, should I become incapacitated and unable to take part in decisions regarding my medical care, I intend this declaration to be honored as the expression of my legal right to consent to or refuse medical treatment.
It is my desire that any and all medical treatment available should be used to sustain my life. If, to sustain life, a feeding tube is required, I request the following:
Mondays
Breakfast - 9:00am; Egg McMuffin, hash browns (liquefied), black coffee
Lunch - 12:30pm; turkey sandwich (liquefied)
Dinner - 7:00pm; fish sticks (liquefied)
Tuesdays
Breakfast - 9:00am; McGriddle (liquefied), orange juice
Lunch - 12:30pm; grilled cheese with ham (liquefied), Mt. Dew with crushed ice
Dinner - 6:00pm; Tombstone pepperoni pizza (liquefied), 3 Miller Lites
Wednesdays
Breakfast - 9:00am; 2 eggs over medium, 2 slices white toast, 3 strips bacon (liquefied)
Lunch - 1:00pm; Jack In The Box Ham & Turkey Pannido (liquefied), large Coke
Dinner - 7:00pm; steak sandwich (liquefied)
Cocktails - 8:30pm; 4 Miller Lites, 2 vodka Red Bulls
Thursdays
No Breakfast
Lunch - 11:30am; egg salad sandwich (liquefied)
Happy Hour - 5:00pm; 6 Miller Lites, shrimp cocktail (liquefied)
Dinner - 7:30pm; 1 lb crab legs from Outback (remove shell and liquefy)
Fridays
Breakfast - 10:00am; 2 Strawberry Frosted Pop Tarts (liquefied), can of Coke
Lunch - 1:30pm; 2 Arby's Roast Beefs (liquefied)
Happy Hour - 4:00pm; 2 vodka Red Bulls, 3 Miller Lites
Cocktails - 7:00pm; 3 vodka Red Bulls, 6 Miller Lites
Saturdays
No Breakfast
No Lunch
Dinner - 6:00pm; beef lo mein (liquefied)
Cocktails - 8:00pm; 9 Miller Lites
Sundays
Brunch - 10:30am; Denny's Country Scramble (liquefied), black coffee
Happy Hour - 4:00pm; 4 Miller Lites
Dinner - 7:30pm; T-bone steak (medium and liquefied)
Thursday, March 24, 2005
My Living Will
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5 COMMENTS:
That's a great menu there, and somebody needs to make light of this whole Schiavo shit, so good job!
The Texas prison system's website has, or used to have, a list of executed prisoners' last meals. The most common item was eggs. However, a few of the prisoners insisted on healthy meals before they met the grim reaper. Got to watch the cholesterol, you know?
LOL....nice
Dude, you stole my thunder! I'll take me one of those living wills too. I'll be eating better than I am now!
Thanks for the chuckle.
Shit man, if you're so incapacitated that you require a feeding tube, why wait until dinner for cocktails. I say, bloody maries and beer chasers for breakfast.
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